I woke up with a start at a quarter to 2 this morning and grabbed my phone from my little sidetable by our bed as Imogen layed snuggled in between me and my husband. I'd been awaiting an announcement from some friends of ours on the arrival of their 3rd little blessing. Sure enough, our prayers had been answered! I put the phone back down to charge and laid there in the dark, thinking of my own two births: one hospital birth and one home waterbirth. Wow. The fact that life bloomed inside of my womb when we were told it wouldn't happen without alot of intervention...is still a miracle of miracles to me. Needless to say I did eventually slip back into sleep for a few hours (I deal with intermittent insomnia. It's awesome. Okay, not really, but you get my drift! It's just something I've come to terms with...well, most of the time.) All this to say...I'm thankful for God waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me that He still does amazing things far beyond what we could ever be capable of, and yet He still cares for the small things in our hearts.
I woke up this morning as Micah was getting ready for work and got ready for another day in our little duplex I affectionately call "The Cottage". It's almost like a hobbit hole, except not NEARLY as cool as Bag End...but I can imagine, can't I? Anyhow, I don't always get up before the kids do...sometimes I realise that I need to sleep with them and even sleep in if I am to function as a non-zombie mom. Sometimes I do get up before them, and it's pretty awesome. I get to drink some tea, make sure the house is tidied up and maybe even start on breakfast; but the best part that happens is that I get to spend some quiet time dwelling with God. Man...you'd think that living in such a cozy little place that I'd recognise and dwell in His presence more often...but alot of times I just kind of pass him by, or give Him a nonchalant glance before getting consumed with the rest of my day. I have to stop this. While the house is a responsibility...it should NEVER be above the relationship between me and the Lord, or me and Micah, or me and the hobbits. EVER. Laundry, clean sinks, bathrooms, clutter....all of those are minor things of life compared to the value, the richness and the high blessing of pouring love, Lord and laughter into my family and giving the Lord everything in me, not just what's leftover from my day.
Am I going to completely screw up...like, a bajillion times? Yes, bajillion is correct. Yup, you read it right. I WILL. But God is so much greater, so much deeper than my failings as a woman who is in the process of being made more like Him. A God who doesn't put me in the doghouse or is displeased at me because I am not like Him. But Lord? Please...please make me more like you, and less of me and my failings.